So it begins,

I thought my first post should be an introduction. Who? What? Why? When?
Who am I? I’m a girl. I work full time, I’m in my twenties, I have a car, a rabbit, amazing parents, a one of a kind brother (love him but Jesus wept does he make some foolish decisions) and finally, I have a boyfriend that I love more than I thought I ever could love some and we live together. 
So what is the blog about and why? When I first met my boyfriend, being in the 21st century and meeting through a dating app therefore talking for a while first – I knew more about him than most people before a first date. I knew that he actually grew up in a totally different county about 4 hours drive from here but he moved up here for work about 6 year previous and actually, he doesn’t really like living round here. I also knew that he had one serious relationship since being up here and although it didn’t result in marriage…it did result in a child. 

Note*: I was young, I’d only had one (but very long) serious relationship before…in that 9 years we managed to not get married, not get engaged and not have a child or even get pregnant. In reality, I had a friend with benefits for 9 years, classy.

My boyfriend of 9 years didn’t have a ‘past’ so to speak, as in – I was his first serious relationship, he didn’t have any children etc. So did I really want a relationship with someone who had a child and a ‘baby mama’? In all honesty, at first, I didn’t put much thought into it. He asked if I wanted to go on a date; I was talking to him and one other guy so I thought it would be good practice (being out of ‘dating’ for a Long time, practice couldn’t hurt) and it was a case of – if it goes well that’s cool, if it doesn’t go well…then get back on the dating game and go on a date with ‘the other guy’. 

Needless to say, we met, we went on a date and from that moment on – I didn’t want to spend a moment apart from him. It didn’t take long for me to tell ‘the other guy’ that I couldn’t talk to him anymore, wish him well and get serious with my new man. 

So let’s jump to after the first exciting few weeks when his daughter would start appearing in conversations. 

Working in the profession I am in, you hear a Lot of gossip, a lot of complaining and a lot of stories about ‘my kids fathers girlfriend’ and let me tell you – those stories are rarely complimentary to the ‘girlfriend’ and that’s when the panic set in. 

I specifically remember when I was about 8 or 9 saying to my mum and dad ‘so when you two get divorced’ and when they told me they weren’t getting divorced – I was in shock, thinking ‘but everyone’s parents are divorced! Don’t embarrass me by staying together!’ They’ve been married for 28 years and honestly couldn’t be happier – they are my inspiration. 

So it’s not rare in 2016 for parents to separate, I just never thought of myself being in the situation of being the ‘Dad’s girlfriend’. Now, I know I’m not the only one but holy crap does it feel that way sometimes! In my personal life I don’t have contact with Anyone who is in my situation (I only know the mums…who hate the ‘dad’s girlfriend’) so I don’t have anyone that I can ask how they dealt with things or what I’m supposed to do in certain situations. 

Hence – this blog. 
I’m sure there are loads of blogs or websites or magazines article out there that are based on my same situation but I realised, I actually just want to vent sometimes. Trust me, I have spent hours (probably resulting in Days) on google asking what is the right thing to do etc. Which is why I decided to do the blog now – I’ve been with my partner now for a year and those hours and hours of googling made me realise – there isn’t a right answer. 

I’m not a psychologist, I have no professional training in this field and I am not an English graduate or professional writer – I am just the ‘Dad’s girlfriend’ who doesn’t always know the right way to deal with things. 

There’s a strong chance that nobody will ever read this but then again, maybe one person will who is in my situation and realise – it’s ok to not know what to do. 

Comment, share, do anything – except send me abuse. I beat myself up enough mentally about these things without needing someone else telling me I’m wrong haha. Thanks